3-Iron (Bin-jip)
3-iron is the simple story of mute love, golf ball violence and creepy mad creeping skills. Let's start with one bored young Korean lad (tae-suk) from a wealthy background who tapes restaurant menus to doors and stays in the unoccupied houes that don't remove the menus. Add one young married lady married (sun-hwa) with an abusive wealthy business man who likes to golf. Now make the lad and the lady both NEVER talk in the film and you have 3-iron.
Though neither is actually a mute, our leading stars never talk but communicate through lots of deep, thoughtful looks. Sure, everyone else in the film talks and yells and screams, but talking is for chumps. In Korea, silence is the language of love.
The couple breaks into houses while the owners are on vacation and does chores around the house and fixes broken items as compensation. I have absolutely no problem with this whatsoever. If someone wants to hang out and clean up my dirty house, I welcome you strange korean visitors from beyond.
Everything escalates when Tae and Sun are accused of killing an old man they found dead in their apartment. Ultimately, this leads to Tae learning to be quiet and ninja like while in jail and can hang quietly in a man's shadow without ever being seen. It's a pretty cool skill that any ninja would be proud and I'm sure I've actually seen in a few ninja based anime series. I tried this method on Barksley, but for such a long dog he was quite adept at spotting the huge me shadow on him.
I ultimately loved this movie and it's slightly mystical twist of ninjaism at the end. The no talking, meaningful looks relationship is a hard one to pull off and I would get bored after fifteen seconds personally. But I'm not sure how I'm supposed to feel about this movie a bit, is it a romance, a ninja training video or, more likely, just a little artsy asian thang. I would recommend it, especially if you want something foreign but not a lot of subtitles, this is your bag.
Take-aways:
- Golfballs are way more deadly than you suspect. Seriously.
- Ninjas are awesome lovers
- If you find a random dude masturbating in your bed, he may be your soulmate... or a ninja
Rating (without alcohol): 4 Stars
Rating (with alcohol): 4 Stars
Rating (in golf): Eagle
Saturday, January 10, 2009
3-Iron (Bin-jip) - Michael
3-Iron (Bin-jip)
I'm tempted to follow the main character's lead in this review, and just say nothing. But, as I've already blown that, on with the rambling.
I'll take the internet's word that the main character is named Tae-suk. He certainly never says it, and I don't read enough Korean to make out the credits. And Tae-suk (T-Suck to his friends) isn't the only mute in the movie. His kinda-sorta girlfriend Sun-hwa also doesn't speak. Technically she says about 3 words at the very end, but who's counting?
So, how do you communicate without dialog? If you guessed "meaningful looks", you're almost right! If you guessed "meaningful looks and a barrage of golf balls at point blank range", then I suspect you've seen this movie. In fact, effectively all of the violence in this movie is done via golf balls, or "The Dimpled Killers", as they're known in the tougher parts of town.
Interesting Note: The English title of the movie, 3-Iron, refers to the preferred golf club of Tae-suk to dispense tiny, spherical justice. The Korean title, Bin-jip, translates to "Empty Houses", or something like that, which really has a lot more to do with the movie, considering Tae-suk's hobby of breaking into and living in homes of people on vacation.
That's actually probably more than a hobby, as there's little indication that Tae-suk does anything else. There's not much indication that he has a home of his own, or even a job, other than a very shiny motorcycle and a supply of restaurant flyers. As payment for his uninvited stay, he does chores or repairs around the house.
It's not clear how long Tae-suk has been leading this ghostly existence, haunting people homes, existing just outside their vision, but just inside their perception, but he seems to be very comfortable with the life. After a stint in jail, his abilities move into the realm of the supernatural. He moves without a sound, and makes himself invisible by staying completely behind a person, no matter how they turn. The movie is somewhat surreal throughout, so this is really more of a smooth transition towards the end rather than a jarring break.
I haven't really commented on the relationship between Tae-suk and Sun-hwa, mostly because I'm not sure what to say about it. Given that the only other person she's seen with is her abusive husband, it's not too surprising that she turns to Tae-suk. At first, he simply provides an escape, and she retreats into the same invisible life Soon, though, she begins to appreciate the uniqueness of their situation. Living in the shadow of other families, very slightly touching their lives and being touched by them, but with no real anchor or home.
The very end is a bit (OK, more than a bit) strange, and maybe a little different tone from the rest of the movie. Tae-suk does finally find a place to live, in the shadow of Sun-hwa's husband (literally). The arrangement actually seems to make everyone pretty happy, even if the husband has no idea why his wife is suddenly cheery.
I'll leave you with three choices for the moral of the movie:
1. Only love can give life to a ghost.
2. Women love a good listener, even if they don't have much to say.
3. Don't let your wife date a ninja.
By the Numbers:
Number of Words Spoken by Tae-Suk: 0
Number of Words Spoken by Sun-hwa: 3-ish
Number of Times Tae-suk Holds A Phone, And You Think He's Going To Say Something: 2
Number of Answering Machine Greetings Saying The Family Is On Vacation, Even Though You're Not Supposed To Do That: 3
Number of People Injured By Golf Balls: 4
Number of Women Tae-suk Accidentally Seriously Injures: 2
Chance That Someone Uses The Coupons Taped To Their Door: 0.01%
Chance That Someone Broke Into Your House Last Time You Were Out: 70%
Chance That Sun-hwa's Husband Will Be Drunken And Abusive Again After The Movie: 95%
Rating (without alcohol): 3 1/2 Stars
Rating (with alcohol): 3 1/2 Stars
Rating (as a ninja): 4 Throwing Stars
I'm tempted to follow the main character's lead in this review, and just say nothing. But, as I've already blown that, on with the rambling.
I'll take the internet's word that the main character is named Tae-suk. He certainly never says it, and I don't read enough Korean to make out the credits. And Tae-suk (T-Suck to his friends) isn't the only mute in the movie. His kinda-sorta girlfriend Sun-hwa also doesn't speak. Technically she says about 3 words at the very end, but who's counting?
So, how do you communicate without dialog? If you guessed "meaningful looks", you're almost right! If you guessed "meaningful looks and a barrage of golf balls at point blank range", then I suspect you've seen this movie. In fact, effectively all of the violence in this movie is done via golf balls, or "The Dimpled Killers", as they're known in the tougher parts of town.
Interesting Note: The English title of the movie, 3-Iron, refers to the preferred golf club of Tae-suk to dispense tiny, spherical justice. The Korean title, Bin-jip, translates to "Empty Houses", or something like that, which really has a lot more to do with the movie, considering Tae-suk's hobby of breaking into and living in homes of people on vacation.
That's actually probably more than a hobby, as there's little indication that Tae-suk does anything else. There's not much indication that he has a home of his own, or even a job, other than a very shiny motorcycle and a supply of restaurant flyers. As payment for his uninvited stay, he does chores or repairs around the house.
It's not clear how long Tae-suk has been leading this ghostly existence, haunting people homes, existing just outside their vision, but just inside their perception, but he seems to be very comfortable with the life. After a stint in jail, his abilities move into the realm of the supernatural. He moves without a sound, and makes himself invisible by staying completely behind a person, no matter how they turn. The movie is somewhat surreal throughout, so this is really more of a smooth transition towards the end rather than a jarring break.
I haven't really commented on the relationship between Tae-suk and Sun-hwa, mostly because I'm not sure what to say about it. Given that the only other person she's seen with is her abusive husband, it's not too surprising that she turns to Tae-suk. At first, he simply provides an escape, and she retreats into the same invisible life Soon, though, she begins to appreciate the uniqueness of their situation. Living in the shadow of other families, very slightly touching their lives and being touched by them, but with no real anchor or home.
The very end is a bit (OK, more than a bit) strange, and maybe a little different tone from the rest of the movie. Tae-suk does finally find a place to live, in the shadow of Sun-hwa's husband (literally). The arrangement actually seems to make everyone pretty happy, even if the husband has no idea why his wife is suddenly cheery.
I'll leave you with three choices for the moral of the movie:
1. Only love can give life to a ghost.
2. Women love a good listener, even if they don't have much to say.
3. Don't let your wife date a ninja.
By the Numbers:
Number of Words Spoken by Tae-Suk: 0
Number of Words Spoken by Sun-hwa: 3-ish
Number of Times Tae-suk Holds A Phone, And You Think He's Going To Say Something: 2
Number of Answering Machine Greetings Saying The Family Is On Vacation, Even Though You're Not Supposed To Do That: 3
Number of People Injured By Golf Balls: 4
Number of Women Tae-suk Accidentally Seriously Injures: 2
Chance That Someone Uses The Coupons Taped To Their Door: 0.01%
Chance That Someone Broke Into Your House Last Time You Were Out: 70%
Chance That Sun-hwa's Husband Will Be Drunken And Abusive Again After The Movie: 95%
Rating (without alcohol): 3 1/2 Stars
Rating (with alcohol): 3 1/2 Stars
Rating (as a ninja): 4 Throwing Stars
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
2001: A Space Odyssey - Brandy
2001: A Space Odyssey
I was always ashamed to admit I had never seen this iconic sci-fi film so I was very excited to finally watch it. All the many, many parodies I've seen of this film have not done it justice and it ranks pretty well right now in my list.
2001 starts out with the predawn of man roaming the earth in the form of our ape-like ancestors. These creatures are generally pretty dull and screech at each other a lot, that is until a mysterious black monolith appears in their camp one night that screeches even better than them. After that, bones suddenly become the "it" item of the season especially when used for bashing other ape's brains.
Explanations of this movie reveal that the monolith is supposed from an advanced alien race who drops these mysterious (loud) stones to help lesser beings evolve. Every time the monolith appears it is rather loud and screechy. Screechy = evolution.
We go from rotating bone to rotating space station. Man has evolved thanks to lots of screeches! And now we create very powerful machines in our own image. With the use of these machines, we have re-discovered the monolith on the moon. Moon bases! Boring debates on space stations! Vegetables in juice box form! The future is exciting! And guess what? Screechy is also exciting! Out dog, Barksley, did jump up and got very alarmed when the monolith feels the sun and starts screaming like a bird in a jet engine.
Jump forward again and man is following the screeches to Jupiter. We come across the infamous HAL 9000 who is an advanced computer system guiding astronauts and the monolith to Jupiter. Only the astronauts don't know that the monolith is on board and HAL has been made to keep it a secret. Because he is always programmed to be truthful but is charged with lying to the men, he goes insane. Duh, that's how robot/AI psychology works. Lies = insane murdering spree.
This sadly bloodless murdering spree leads to some of the most iconic moments after the monolith including HAL's "I'm afraid I can't do that, Dave" and the creepy red eye staring mindlessly. Eventually, man must overcome the machines he has built that are threatening to replace him. Dave does by pulling out some old school data things from HAL and proceeds to Jupiter as planned.
At Jupiter, the acid starts flowing. Dave goes through the most acidy acid-trip since space-woodstock. Though this scene was revolutionary for it's time, it looks funnily dated now. Dave "meets" the aliens though they are never shown but only and aging Dave who eventually turns into the space baby? Apparently, space babies are the next evolutionary step for man.
Overall, the movie is extremely sparse on dialog and heavy on music and long, long and even longer shots of models doing things in space. Still, the stylization and futurism is gorgeous and rich in character and environment. I do feel sucked into the space station with low ceilings and the abyss of space facing down HAL. The more I got into this movie, the less I wanted to drink because I wanted to be able to take it all in and appreciate it. Simplicity wins me with this movie but the murderous AI keeps me cheering cause let's face it, everything is better with murdering robots. Now only if HAL had at least once said "Kill All Humans."
Take-Aways:
- loud, mysterious black stones are good
- calm, mysterious red eyes are bad
- zero gravity toilets are really, really complicated
- lying makes you a serial killer
- vibrant colors could mean either drugs or aliens
- Space babies are awesome!
Rating (without alcohol): 4 1/2 Stars
Rating (with alcohol): 3 1/2 Stars
Rating (on drugs): 4 Hits
-Brandy
I was always ashamed to admit I had never seen this iconic sci-fi film so I was very excited to finally watch it. All the many, many parodies I've seen of this film have not done it justice and it ranks pretty well right now in my list.
2001 starts out with the predawn of man roaming the earth in the form of our ape-like ancestors. These creatures are generally pretty dull and screech at each other a lot, that is until a mysterious black monolith appears in their camp one night that screeches even better than them. After that, bones suddenly become the "it" item of the season especially when used for bashing other ape's brains.
Explanations of this movie reveal that the monolith is supposed from an advanced alien race who drops these mysterious (loud) stones to help lesser beings evolve. Every time the monolith appears it is rather loud and screechy. Screechy = evolution.
We go from rotating bone to rotating space station. Man has evolved thanks to lots of screeches! And now we create very powerful machines in our own image. With the use of these machines, we have re-discovered the monolith on the moon. Moon bases! Boring debates on space stations! Vegetables in juice box form! The future is exciting! And guess what? Screechy is also exciting! Out dog, Barksley, did jump up and got very alarmed when the monolith feels the sun and starts screaming like a bird in a jet engine.
Jump forward again and man is following the screeches to Jupiter. We come across the infamous HAL 9000 who is an advanced computer system guiding astronauts and the monolith to Jupiter. Only the astronauts don't know that the monolith is on board and HAL has been made to keep it a secret. Because he is always programmed to be truthful but is charged with lying to the men, he goes insane. Duh, that's how robot/AI psychology works. Lies = insane murdering spree.
This sadly bloodless murdering spree leads to some of the most iconic moments after the monolith including HAL's "I'm afraid I can't do that, Dave" and the creepy red eye staring mindlessly. Eventually, man must overcome the machines he has built that are threatening to replace him. Dave does by pulling out some old school data things from HAL and proceeds to Jupiter as planned.
At Jupiter, the acid starts flowing. Dave goes through the most acidy acid-trip since space-woodstock. Though this scene was revolutionary for it's time, it looks funnily dated now. Dave "meets" the aliens though they are never shown but only and aging Dave who eventually turns into the space baby? Apparently, space babies are the next evolutionary step for man.
Overall, the movie is extremely sparse on dialog and heavy on music and long, long and even longer shots of models doing things in space. Still, the stylization and futurism is gorgeous and rich in character and environment. I do feel sucked into the space station with low ceilings and the abyss of space facing down HAL. The more I got into this movie, the less I wanted to drink because I wanted to be able to take it all in and appreciate it. Simplicity wins me with this movie but the murderous AI keeps me cheering cause let's face it, everything is better with murdering robots. Now only if HAL had at least once said "Kill All Humans."
Take-Aways:
- loud, mysterious black stones are good
- calm, mysterious red eyes are bad
- zero gravity toilets are really, really complicated
- lying makes you a serial killer
- vibrant colors could mean either drugs or aliens
- Space babies are awesome!
Rating (without alcohol): 4 1/2 Stars
Rating (with alcohol): 3 1/2 Stars
Rating (on drugs): 4 Hits
-Brandy
2001: A Space Odyssey - Michael
2001: A Space Odyssey
This film is something of a paradox. On one hand, it's incredibly well known, with scenes and lines firmly rooted in pop culture. Just a few seconds of Also sprach Zarathustra immediately conjures the image of apes crowded around a huge black monolith. How much of our fear of artificial intelligence can be attributed to HAL 9000, and "I'm afraid I can't do that, Dave."?
But, on the other hand, if you asked someone what this movie is about, you'd probably get a shrug at best, or else a somewhat long-winded intellectual interpretation that may or may not have anything to do with the original intent. 2001 is a movie that everyone knows, some have seen, and a few even understand.
Well-done science fiction is an amazing thing. 1968 was the year of Apollo 8, when we first orbited the moon. But seen today, the moon base and Jupiter mission seem almost completely plausible, even if the special effects to travel "Beyond the Infinite" seem a little dated and drug-infused. The special effects used to show weightlessness are incredible for the time, and impressive now, emphasizing just how out of place Man is in space. Space travel isn't really over-glamorized, it's just a job, or even a chore. Though the in-flight meal was just a tray of juice boxes, it still looked better than more options today.
Of course, this movie isn't complete without one of the most distinctive and memorable enemies in all film, the HAL 9000. Throughout, his presentation is beautifully minimalistic, a glowing red "eye" on a back panel. The voice is a little odd, though it's probably a good thing that it wasn't heavily processed. His nearly-human voice indicates a real personality, while the eye reminds us that he's calculating and soulless. When we ultimately see the inside of HAL's brain, and hear him pleading for his life, he seems less villainous, and almost a victim of his programming.
Frankly, 2001 is not for everyone. Many parts go beyond "slow" to "crawl", but even these serve to set the mood. Much of the movie has no dialog at all, and much of the dialog there is doesn't help explain what's happening directly. Overall, a fantastic movie, but make sure you're in the right mood (either naturally, or chemically aided) before watching.
By the Numbers:
Current Number of Real Years Past Film Date: 8
Current Approximate Iteration of HAL: 6500, tops
Current Awesome Moon Bases: 0
Number of Monkeys Harmed in the Making of This Film: 1
Height of Moon Base Ceiling: 3 feet too low
Chance of Surviving HAL: 20%
Chance of Understanding This Movie After One Watching: Negligible
Chance that Haywood's Daughter Went Through A Rigorous Casting Process: 0%
Chance that Haywood's Daughter Was In Fact Kubrick's Daughter: 100%
Rating (without alcohol): 4 1/2 Stars
Rating (with alcohol): 4 Stars
Rating (as a nerd): My God, It's Full of Stars
This film is something of a paradox. On one hand, it's incredibly well known, with scenes and lines firmly rooted in pop culture. Just a few seconds of Also sprach Zarathustra immediately conjures the image of apes crowded around a huge black monolith. How much of our fear of artificial intelligence can be attributed to HAL 9000, and "I'm afraid I can't do that, Dave."?
But, on the other hand, if you asked someone what this movie is about, you'd probably get a shrug at best, or else a somewhat long-winded intellectual interpretation that may or may not have anything to do with the original intent. 2001 is a movie that everyone knows, some have seen, and a few even understand.
Well-done science fiction is an amazing thing. 1968 was the year of Apollo 8, when we first orbited the moon. But seen today, the moon base and Jupiter mission seem almost completely plausible, even if the special effects to travel "Beyond the Infinite" seem a little dated and drug-infused. The special effects used to show weightlessness are incredible for the time, and impressive now, emphasizing just how out of place Man is in space. Space travel isn't really over-glamorized, it's just a job, or even a chore. Though the in-flight meal was just a tray of juice boxes, it still looked better than more options today.
Of course, this movie isn't complete without one of the most distinctive and memorable enemies in all film, the HAL 9000. Throughout, his presentation is beautifully minimalistic, a glowing red "eye" on a back panel. The voice is a little odd, though it's probably a good thing that it wasn't heavily processed. His nearly-human voice indicates a real personality, while the eye reminds us that he's calculating and soulless. When we ultimately see the inside of HAL's brain, and hear him pleading for his life, he seems less villainous, and almost a victim of his programming.
Frankly, 2001 is not for everyone. Many parts go beyond "slow" to "crawl", but even these serve to set the mood. Much of the movie has no dialog at all, and much of the dialog there is doesn't help explain what's happening directly. Overall, a fantastic movie, but make sure you're in the right mood (either naturally, or chemically aided) before watching.
By the Numbers:
Current Number of Real Years Past Film Date: 8
Current Approximate Iteration of HAL: 6500, tops
Current Awesome Moon Bases: 0
Number of Monkeys Harmed in the Making of This Film: 1
Height of Moon Base Ceiling: 3 feet too low
Chance of Surviving HAL: 20%
Chance of Understanding This Movie After One Watching: Negligible
Chance that Haywood's Daughter Went Through A Rigorous Casting Process: 0%
Chance that Haywood's Daughter Was In Fact Kubrick's Daughter: 100%
Rating (without alcohol): 4 1/2 Stars
Rating (with alcohol): 4 Stars
Rating (as a nerd): My God, It's Full of Stars
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